Dear Jeep Cherokee Driver,
I am writing to apologize for my behavior earlier today. I am sure what you saw was quite disturbing, to say the least, and while I cannot excuse my behavior, I would like to try to explain it. When you saw me cleaning my teeth with what probably appeared to be a child's sock, you probably didn't know that we went to dinner last night at Red Robin, and it was my first night out at a restaurant in quite some time. You probably also didn't know that I had to hold one child on my lap, while spoon-feeding the other child, which left me no free hand to eat my own dinner. You may not have been aware that when it came time for me to put the children down and eat my own dinner, both children decided to simultaneously throw themselves on the floor and demand to go somewhere other than the Red Robin, leaving me with no choice but to carry them to the car and take my uneaten Santa Fe Burger home in a styrofoam box. It may also have escaped your notice that when we got home, I was so tired and frustrated that I put all three of us to bed at 8pm, only to wake up at 6am half-starved, if well rested. It is unlikely that you would have known that after the boys had had a healthy and nutritious breakfast, I sat down to my microwaved Santa Fe burger, just as they decided they could not possibly share the one and only interesting toy they own. So, you probably had no idea that my only option this morning was to throw two boys and a styrofoam container into my minivan and eat a (still delicious) Santa Fe burger while driving around watching Elmo's All Star Alphabet. And, yes, you probably found it disturbing to pull up next to me at the traffic light and see me cleaning a bit of avocado out of my teeth with a child's sock, but I had no other option, as in my haste to leave the house I had neglected to pack something more useful, like a folded post-it note or a baby wipe. And when I looked over, and noticed you watching me, and the horrified look on your face, the only reason I smiled and continued is because my teeth were not yet clean, and I felt the damage was really done at that point. And I would like to assure you that the sock in question was actually a freshly-laundered sock, which even in my haste I managed to throw into my diaper bag. You know, in case of emergency. Again, I would like to extend my deepest apologies for this unfortunate incident, and I hope to be better prepared in the future.
Sincerely,
Driver of Sienna Minivan
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